For such a time as this…

You Are Chosen

I just love the story of Esther. A queen – beautiful, strong, and proud – and unique. However, Esther didn’t always understand how God could use her to save her people. 

You see, Esther was chosen. Despite unknown and even dangerous circumstances, Esther decided to lean into her faith and step into the calling God had chosen just for her. 

My dear friend, you are chosen too. 

What If?

And what if:

  • Like Esther, you could genuinely believe God chose you. He did.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

and before you were born I consecrated you…” 

He knew you before you were even created.

  • You could comprehend how great God’s love is – for you.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. – Ephesians 3:18
Deeper than the deepest ocean, higher than the highest mountain. His love is greater.

  • You know He will always choose you.

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you … – John 15:16

He chooses you. 

Chosen Through Pain and Healing

While Tim and I were walking out our healing journey after his betrayal, I came to understand – much like Esther – I was chosen, too. The pain was real, and the hurt felt never-ending some days. But through my heartbreak, God showed me that I would help other women through their difficulties and walk alongside them in their healing journey. He chose me. 

And He has chosen you. While our stories may not be quite like Esther’s, God can and will use our brokenness, even when we may not see a way through. 

You are chosen and dearly loved, and He cares about the depth of your pain. I pray you will feel His very real and abiding presence today.

I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7)

Merry almost Christmas! 

It’s time to celebrate Jesus and have cherished time with family and friends. 

But what if things aren’t so merry and bright with your relationship?

We’ve developed some practical tips to help keep you focused on each other and the real reason for Christmas.

  1. Look for the ‘little things’ – and have a heart of gratitude. Even when things are stressful, focus on the small, happy things, and be grateful.
  2. Talk about the reason for the season, and share with friends and family.
  3. Pray together regularly – and make prayer a priority. 
  4. Have you made your list for Santa yet? If not, get it done as soon as possible to reduce stress. 
  5. Discuss your Christmas budget, and agree with your spouse on the amounts to be spent.
  6. Understand and accept that things (and people!) are out of your control. Remind yourself of this fact often.
  7. Mind your busyness! Remember B.U.S.Y. = is Being Under Satan’s Yoke. Slow down. We all know how very quickly time passes – why rush it with busyness?
  8. Prioritize your to-do list for the season. And stick to it!
  9. Surround yourself with friends and family who will support you and your spouse during the holidays. 
  10. Try to remember that your actions and words can hurt your spouse. Don’t let a moment’s stress cause pain for those around you. Take a breath and pause before you speak.

We pray that you can slow down and enjoy each treasured moment this Christmas season. Be intentional about showing extra love to those around you – and always remember the REAL reason for this season!

Merry Christmas, and may you find reasons to celebrate every day this Christmas season. 

“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” 
Luke 2:10


(I bet we just caught your attention!)

How do you relate to sex and intimacy in your marriage? Do you and your spouse delight in God’s beautiful plan for physical and emotional connection through sex and share on a deeper level? Or perhaps it’s viewed less as a loving and attached experience and more as a chore – attended to begrudgingly and, unfortunately – without enjoyment. 

God’s intention toward marriage and sex is evident, going all the way back to the very first book of the Bible. Genesis 2:24 (ESV) reads: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” That paints quite a clear picture regarding the inclusion of intimacy with sex. “...hold fast to his wife” and “.. they shall become one flesh.” It’s as if husband and wife, through closeness and affection, unite into one person. 

Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon) is another beautiful example of intimate and connected love, expressed physically between a husband and wife. The relationship’s vision of intimacy and physical passion leaps off the pages; it’s a sexual marriage relationship straight from the heart of God.

But – it doesn’t always turn out that way. When unresolved or painful issues step into the bedroom, intimacy can be cut off, leaving one – or both – partners feeling anything but ‘one.’ Or it may be that you grew up in a home where sex was a taboo subject; therefore thoughts were shaped around the topic of sex long before you could participate or even knew what to ask. Either way, emotional disconnect from your partner can leave much to desire in the arena of sex and intimacy, and the barriers are not always simple to overcome.

The good news is that with intentional effort, intimacy can return. Of course, it will require care, keeping God at the center, placing your spouse’s needs above your own, and seeking outside help if needed. But, it is possible to regain that intimate friendship and physical connection with your spouse. The place that is sacred to only your marriage. 

When we live out sex and intimacy according to God’s plan, we honor His marriage design. And we reap the benefits of a stronger and more connected physical and emotional relationship with our spouse.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled. Hebrews 13:4, (ESV)

If you’re struggling with this or any other area, in your marriage, Tim and I would love to come alongside you to coach you to a vibrant, fulfilling relationship.

Happy 46th Anniversary to Us!

46 years! And it’s certainly been quite a journey (no pun intended)! 

Would we change a thing? Not a chance. The peaks and valleys we experienced shaped not just our marriage but our perspective on marriage. 

Take a walk down our very own memory lane with us!

Our relationship began as most do: infatuation – we were high on love! We were intrigued by the differences we saw in each other and even appreciated and enjoyed them (more on this later!).

There were many successes throughout our relationship. Tim flourished in his career. He was a Partner in a public accountancy firm and a General Audit Director of a large company. Diana blossomed as a volunteer: PTO, Junior Women’s club, foster mom – even beginning a program to assist parents in their time of need, Special Care Infants. You name it, and she was there! 

Always the appearance of wealth and achievement. 

But our most outstanding achievement of them all?

Together, we successfully raised four remarkable children, who are now parents themselves. And today, we are blessed with nine beautiful grandchildren!

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses, though. We had our share of hard times and difficulties along the way. Leaving our families and our home state of Illinois early in our marriage was challenging, pushing our marital limits. But, we survived that first move – and even went on to move five more times throughout our marriage! Our travels from state to state have become legendary, even affording Diana the title of the queen of packing. First, we moved from Texas to New York. From there to Wisconsin. Then on to Ohio, Alabama, and eventually to Florida, where we’ve settled. (Whew! We’re tired just thinking about all those moves now!)

Our marriage has endured financial hardships of the most painful kind. 

Our youngest son was very sick, to the point of being flown to another hospital for specialized care. It was a very stressful time for our family. 

And those differences we saw and appreciated in each other in the early stages of our relationship? By now, these were causing divisions and issues. Tim is a more assertive and powerful personality, one of a determination to succeed. That would sometimes go against Diana’s peaceful nature and desire to seek peace and harmony. The result of those personality differences – not always pretty – made for additional learning opportunities!

Then the word of Tim’s affair. It was a crossroads for our marriage. But, if you know our story, it’s one of a painful yet beautiful restoration. One of forgiveness and grace. A story that led us to begin our own coaching business and propelled us to lead other couples experiencing marital troubles to a better path. 

So, after 46 years together – we’ve learned a few things! Some of our top and favorite learnings?

  • Marriage is continual learning – go to seminars, take courses, and never stop learning (about yourself and your spouse, too!).
  • Communication is critical. Keep talking. 
  • Stay connected.
  • Passion and intimacy are essential. So keep the homes fires burning!
  • Have fun together! Laughter is the best medicine, after all!
  • And lastly, but most importantly, keep God the center of your marriage, and keep Him your priority. Pray, attend church, and read the Bible.

As we head into another year, we are grateful. We can see the hand of God through every up and each down that we’ve endured. He has been faithful through it all.

Here’s to many, many more!

It’s my birthday!  

Each year when my birthday comes around, it tends to be bittersweet. There is so much to be grateful for, but I must admit – I really don’t like how that number keeps creeping up!

But, let’s talk about some other reasons to celebrate, along with my birthday. First, I want to brag about my clients. I really have the best clients ever!  

Tim and I recently had a session with a couple at their home. When we arrived, much to my surprise, there was a Happy Birthday banner on the door – and that was just the start! Our clients decorated the whole place with Happy Birthday banners and balloons! Lunch was served, and they even had a lovely mini birthday cheesecake just for me (ok, I shared it with everyone!). 

My clients’ surprise celebration gave me a different perspective for my birthday. So, this year, I am discarding the number and focusing on all the things in my life for which I’m grateful!

Here are a few from my list:

I’m grateful for –

  • A loving husband who does everything to make my birthday special. This year he booked a short vacay to the Bahamas for us!
  • 4 successful and loving children who have added their wonderful spouses to our family
  • 9, yes 9, beautiful grandchildren – two of whom were born this year
  • Clients who are willing to do the work to grow and learn from the pains, hurts, and messes in life
  • Travel. By age 18, I had traveled to 48 states! Alaska is still on my bucket list! I’ve been blessed with several international trips: China, Australia, Fuji, and a bucket list of more international trips
  • My supportive team, coach, and clients who encourage me to do more, to grow in scary areas, to step out of my comfort zone so I can widen my reach and truly live my purpose
  • All the opportunities I have been given in my life
  • Most of all, a loving Father who has never given up on me, even when I wanted to give up

I think you get it! 

So, this year on my birthday, I will count my blessings and relish in gratefulness. How lucky I am to have this many years with all the ups, downs, and in-betweens that have led me to where I am today!

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. Ps 9:1

Are Relationships Like The Movies?

Don’t we enjoy a good, old-fashioned romantic comedy? Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love and
then maybe run into some trouble. They figure it out, then the boy proposes to girl (always in
quite the grandest of styles!). Next? They get married, and then, of course, they live happily
ever after.

Or do they?

You know it’s not always the rosy picture painted in a romantic comedy if you’ve been in a
relationship. It isn’t all flowers, candy, and hand-holding while strolling the beach with a
gorgeous sunset as the backdrop.

Love Is A Verb

While these are all beautiful things, love over time is so much more. Love is a verb. It’s an active
experience, and it’s a choice.

It’s not enough to assume your spouse knows you love them. Putting the ring on is certainly not
the end! It’s not even enough to just say the words. Actions and commitment speak. Loudly.
Once the honeymoon phase wears off, daily intentional acts are vital to the relationship.

Showing love through the act of washing dishes

What are some tangible ways to remind your spouse of your love? For example, remembering
the way he enjoys his cup of coffee, sitting through (part of anyway!) the football game and
cheering on his favorite team, helping her with the dishes, even though it’s not the most
enjoyable task, taking care of the kids so she can take a bubble bath – these are all little things
that go so far in showing your spouse how very much you love them each day.

Love With Purpose

If your spouse appreciates physical touch, giving hugs and holding their hand will fill their
tank. Do they need to hear affirming words? Let them know how much you appreciate
everything they do to take care of you and the home. Maybe your spouse needs some quality
time with you in this oh-so-busy world. Make the time – purposefully.

When we show love to our spouse through words and ongoing actions, it sets a rock-solid
foundation for the relationship.

So today, will you do more than just ‘feel the feelings’ toward your spouse – will you take the
actions that demonstrate real love to your spouse?

1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

What is the gift of love? What is love?

Love:  lŭv – A strong feeling of affection and concern toward another person, as that arising from kinship or close friendship.

That’s the definition of Love, according to the American Heritage Dictionary

How would you define Love? And who comes to mind when you think of love? Do you think of your precious children or grandchildren (oh, those sweet babies!)? Your incredible spouse? Or maybe it’s the love of your favorite furry kiddos, your dogs and cats! How about the love of the Lord?

The Gift of Love

However, it is that you view love, it is a gift. A gift to be shared and a gift to be received. 

Our family has been on quite a journey recently. First, we’ve had a beautiful blessing in our new, precious granddaughter’s safe arrival. She is love personified, in all of her tiny perfection! 

To look at her is to love her.

On the very same day we welcomed our newest family blessing, sweet baby Margeaux, we began a challenging journey with our son, Matthew. We learned Matthew was in the ER, being treated for a possible stroke. Fear and uncertainty followed. Feelings of overflowing blessings mingled with our worried and anxious minds. 

But what keeps us afloat through it ALL? The gift of Love. 

The pure love we feel when we look at our treasured new granddaughter. The pure, unconditional love we feel for our son as we walk through this season with him – and the love we receive back. The love of our Lord, who carries us and gives us strength – all a genuine gift. 

What We Know About Love

1 Corinthians 13 tells us these things about Love:

  • Love is patient
  • Love is kind
  • Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
  • Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
  • Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
  • It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

That’s quite a list! But surely one worthy of aspiring to, don’t you think? As we walk this marvelous journey of life together – we sure do. 

Let’s choose to live on purpose, to give the gift of love to those around us – not just in this notoriously love-filled month, but every day

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.

1 Corinthians 13:13