Habits change into character.  – Ovid

Whether we like it or not, our days are full of habits. They can be good habits … or they can be bad habits. Yes – we all have those, too. Some patterns are thought-out, and others come so instinctively they’re second nature to our daily routine. 

Take a minute and think about your morning routine. What’s the first thing you do when your feet hit the floor? Do you head to the bathroom and brush your teeth or make a line straight for the coffee maker to get the first cup of life-giving caffeine brewing? Whichever way you start the day – that’s a habit. 

What habits in your life would you like to change? 

According to Medical News Today, breaking a bad habit can take anywhere from 18-250 days.  That feels a little overwhelming. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to do it alone. When we set our hearts and mind on a positive change and allow God to help us do the work, we can create new and better habits for ourselves and our marriage. 

As we worked through Tim’s affair and the aftermath, our daily habits and mindsets toward each other needed to transform. Drastically! We could no longer take each other or our marriage for granted. Instead, we cultivated mindful and healthy habits that, over time, led to restoration and healing in our marriage. While it took very conscious action and effort from each of us, it was worth any number of days to break the old habits and develop new patterns that would lead us to a much higher level of satisfaction and contentment in our marriage.

As you look at your daily habits and patterns, take the time (no matter how many days!) to embrace and take steps toward the habit changes you need to make. Romans 12:2 tells us to not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our mind. 

Do you tend to be impatient with your spouse? Start a habit of slowing down and practicing pause and patience. Has anger caused distance in your marriage? Take a moment and breathe before responding to your spouse. With time, practice, and effort – habits can change.

Allow God to shift your habits and patterns, and your mindset (renewing of our minds) toward those habits. Then resolve to make the change. Your spouse and your marriage will thank you for it.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.