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Chosen

For such a time as this…

You Are Chosen

I just love the story of Esther. A queen – beautiful, strong, and proud – and unique. However, Esther didn’t always understand how God could use her to save her people. 

You see, Esther was chosen. Despite unknown and even dangerous circumstances, Esther decided to lean into her faith and step into the calling God had chosen just for her. 

My dear friend, you are chosen too. 

What If?

And what if:

  • Like Esther, you could genuinely believe God chose you. He did.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

and before you were born I consecrated you…” 

He knew you before you were even created.

  • You could comprehend how great God’s love is – for you.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. – Ephesians 3:18
Deeper than the deepest ocean, higher than the highest mountain. His love is greater.

  • You know He will always choose you.

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you … – John 15:16

He chooses you. 

Chosen Through Pain and Healing

While Tim and I were walking out our healing journey after his betrayal, I came to understand – much like Esther – I was chosen, too. The pain was real, and the hurt felt never-ending some days. But through my heartbreak, God showed me that I would help other women through their difficulties and walk alongside them in their healing journey. He chose me. 

And He has chosen you. While our stories may not be quite like Esther’s, God can and will use our brokenness, even when we may not see a way through. 

You are chosen and dearly loved, and He cares about the depth of your pain. I pray you will feel His very real and abiding presence today.

I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7)

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Life Is Still Beautiful

It’s a Wonderful Life. If you’ve seen this classic Christmas film, you no doubt walked away feeling uplifted and encouraged about life. But maybe your real life isn’t feeling so picturesque right now, and you’re wondering just how to get back to that wonderful, peaceful place. 

Life can still be beautiful, even in the pain and the mess.

But how, you ask? Here are a few tips that might help you find some glimpses of the loveliness that is your life.

  • Cultivate a grateful heart

When we are stuck in our own stuff, it’s hard to see past the discouraging things in our lives. But – the hope and joy that will come with a shift toward a grateful heart can change things! Take the time to write down at least one thing each day for which you’re thankful. Start small each day, and watch your grateful list grow!

  • Do your best to avoid a negative attitude

I know it’s not easy! And it won’t mean rainbows and sunshine every day. But intentionally working toward a positive rather than negative attitude can help you refocus and move toward seeing the beauty in your life.

  • Pursue your calling and purpose

God has called you. You are chosen, and He has plans for you. What passions has He laid on your heart? Follow your God-given passions relentlessly and watch the pain fade as you affect those around you for the good. Your life’s purpose will become more apparent. 

  • Help others

You can find fulfillment and happiness by helping others – especially during the holiday season. When we are the hands and feet of Jesus through our care for others, our problems become dimmer, less ‘big.’

  • Give yourself grace

Understand that this is a season. While doing your best as you walk through this challenging time in your life, allow yourself the same grace you would extend to others. And know you are never alone! He goes before you, and promises to be with you. Hebrews 13:5 reminds us: ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’

  • Remember, you have hope!

Because of the baby boy sent to us over two-thousand years ago and His great love for us – there is hope!

I pray during this Christmas season, you can find that life is still beautiful. 

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

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Being Intentional

Over the years, as I’ve gained experience and wisdom, one of my goals has been to be more intentional with my life. Deliberate daily actions, from my prayer life to my relationships and thoughts. And especially in my healing. You see, when pain and hurts are left unchecked and not processed, they can grow larger and larger, allowing bitterness and unforgiveness to take hold. So I’ve decided to intentionally take steps in my own healing. 

Devastated

When Tim’s affair came to light, I was completely and utterly devastated.

I was left feeling unprotected, vulnerable, and unworthy. The decision was entirely mine: begin taking daily steps toward healing or allow the heartbreak to take over my life. I chose to be intentional about my healing so our marriage could be restored. I can’t say it was easy, this decision of moving forward and facing the pain. It was indeed a journey, full of down and discouraging days – but also full of self-discovery and drawing nearer to God.

Being Intentional In Acceptance

The process began with acceptance. Although it hurt, I had to accept the reality of Tim’s affair. This first step can be a doozy, especially when our hearts would rather deny the facts – but it’s necessary to move forward. I needed to make changes and do things differently than I had been doing. 

I needed to get unstuck and find my value again outside the circumstances. When feelings of unworthiness crept in, I would hold fast to God’s love for me and continue to look to Him for my comfort, peace, and worth. I reached out for help from friends, counselors, and coaches. I leaned on them for wisdom, discernment, and support. 

Intentional Healing

By intentionally seeking healing, my heart and mindset were changed – and our marriage survived and began thriving again. 

Are you in a season of pain and hurt? One that feels as if it will never change or improve?

You can begin walking toward healing by starting with intention. 

Accept the circumstance for what it is, and then choose what needs to change in your life. Hold tight to God’s promises and His love over you. Then take action – intentionally. 

Psalm 139:13-14

For you formed my innermost parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 

  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Diana would welcome a chance to speak with you about your healing — no obligations, no pressure.

Speak With Diana
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Divine Detours

As I reflect back through the years of my life, I can see how the twists and turns, the ups and downs, were always woven by the hand of God. Some of the paths were straight, some were anything but straight, and there were many divine detours along the way! 

So, what exactly does a divine detour look like? 

We can take ourselves off the course God has for us, and He can still redeem. He will often bring a person into our lives to redirect us or open (or close!) a door when we have been reluctant to let go of that door knob. 

Or, through the choices and actions of another – and no fault of our own, we can find ourselves on detours. These can feel like a never-ending roundabout that keeps us spinning wildly out of control. And yet, He can still redeem. 

What does God do with our detours? 

Ultimately, God will always use our detours for His purposes (ah, there’s the divine!). When we allow Him to walk us through that alternate route – His detour – so that we can see His purpose and plan for our lives. It may not be the easy path or the simple way, but if we allow it, there will always be a lesson to be learned!

When Tim’s affair derailed and fully detoured our marriage, I had to decide. What would I do with the diversion? This wasn’t the path I had envisioned for my life. Would I allow it to keep me headed down the path of bitterness and unforgiveness, or would I allow God to come in and change my heart? I made the choice to allow God to use Tim’s infidelity for His greater purpose. That not only altered the course of our marriage but has also enabled us to help many others through difficult times in their relationships. 

With an open heart and mind, I gained a new perspective on my own marriage and a unique view of the marriage relationship. God grew me in ways I could never have cultivated in my own power. While it certainly was not an easy or enjoyable journey, I can see as I look back down that winding path that God was walking with me through it all and leading me gently. Leading me to a greater purpose than just my own healing. 

God can and will use our detours – both to help us and to help others through them. 

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When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Life is sailing along quite smoothly: a great job, picture-perfect kiddos who are active in all the things, a supportive spouse, and a wonderful church you attend with your family. You’re living out everything you’d ever wanted and dreamed of as a little girl! 

But what happens when things don’t go as planned?

Your job is downsized due to economic conditions, causing financial strain and, in turn – marital issues. Perhaps your spouse’s parent becomes chronically ill, and your family is now the caregiver. Even our sweet and fun little ones can become difficult and even a little rebellious as they hit the teenage years. Maybe you’re just disappointed in your marriage. You’ve both drifted, and now you’re left feeling disconnected. Or perhaps there’s been a betrayal.

These unexpected (and very unwanted) situations in our lives can leave us feeling out of control and utterly unsure of which way to turn. 

So, what can we do when life takes a turn in a direction we weren’t expecting? 

Gather support. For yourself and for your family. 

Does your church have pastoral or counseling care? Take them up on it. 

Seek out coaching or counseling. 

Be wise and reach out for help!

Communicate.

Keep talking with your spouse and your family. Shutting down will build walls. 

Self-care.

Prioritize your needs, too. 

Prayer.

Most of all, cover your situation in prayer. 

When I received the very unwelcome news of Tim’s affair, needless to say – I was devastated. 

It was definitely not in my plans! 

But, I took steps to take care of myself, get help and support, and work through the situation – day-by-day. 

Years later, I’m so grateful that I did.

If things aren’t going quite as you expected today, what steps can you begin to take to turn things around?

Visit Coach Diana at http://www.dianajourny.com/services/coaching/

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Believing In Me

When life is sailing along smoothly, and everything is going as planned, it’s pretty easy to feel good about ourselves, our surroundings, and our situations. Maybe we even take it for granted (yes, I’ve been there too!).

What happens when the rug gets snatched from under your feet? When your world spins out of control, and it feels like it’s coming down around you? Suddenly, what’s familiar and comfortable just isn’t working anymore. Taking steps forward seems like a chore.  

When those hurricanes enter our lives (and always at the most inopportune times!) and knock us off course, how do we keep focused on our purpose, journey, and even our own identity?

I’ve had firsthand experience with this, my friend. When my husband, Tim, revealed that he had an affair – I was absolutely and completely devastated. My world stopped. Betrayal seemed too kind a word to describe the path I was walking.

However, I made the difficult decision to stay in our marriage. Even with the shadow of unfaithfulness, I remained.

It was then that the questions began. They raced through my mind, trying to overtake my emotions and my faith:

Why did I stay?

What was I to do now?

What purpose could there possibly be from all my pain?

WHO AM I? 

There was yet another choice to be made. I could remain stuck where I was, or I could begin to reframe my new reality. Choose to take steps forward into healing or stay in the heartache and pain. I chose to reframe. 

To believe in ME again. 

I can’t say it’s an easy road after the hurt. Instead, it’s a journey of intentional and daily reframing, of finding out who you are – again and again. A bumpy road filled with doubt, fears, and questioning. But one that, when we’re able to process and redefine our future, dreams, and hopes, along with a reframing of our new reality, can bring a rare and unique beauty into our lives. 

Through Jesus, it IS possible to reframe and redefine who we are and how we view our journey! 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  – Romans 12:2(a)

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5 Ds and 5 Cs

Life can certainly be challenging, can’t it, my dear friend?

Some days leave us feeling beat up, knocked down, and just plain exhausted. 

So how are we to overcome those less-than-desirable days?

Let’s dig a little deeper.

Part 1

How to combat the 5 Ds with the 5 Cs of Christ

  • The strategy of the Devil   – 

John 10:10(a) tells us the thief (devil) comes to steal and kill and destroy. 

That’s powerful – and it’s also frightening. 

So, just how does the devil go about doing these things?

Here are a few of his tools:

  • Doubt – Doubt causes you to question God’s work in your life and question His goodness

Ever feel unworthy or less-than?

Perhaps you tell yourself ‘I can’t’

  • Discouragement – Discouragement keeps your focus on how big your problems are – rather than on how BIG our God IS

Do you find yourself desiring to give up?

Do you feel the work is just too hard sometimes?

  • Diversion – Diversion will make the wrong things seem attractive so that you will desire them even more than the right things

Are you distracted by things? Phone? TV? Sports?

Tempted by things that do not belong in your Core Values?

  • Defeat – Defeat will make you feel like a failure so that you don’t even try

Ever feel that you might as well just give up before you even start? 

Feel like you just can’t?

  • Delay – Delay will cause you to put things off, so they never get done

Procrastination is not of God

Remember: it’s God’s timing, not yours

We know that the devil schemes to kill and destroy. He attacks us with lust, pride,

power, discouragement, doubt, money, escapism, pleasure, hate, anger, jealousy, selfishness – you name it, it’s in his arsenal. And he’s more than happy to pull it out and use it on us at any given moment.

Part 2 – 

How to combat the 5 Ds with the 5 Cs of Christ

  • Combat the devil’s strategy with Christ!  – 

So, what’s a Christ-follower to do? 

The truth is we don’t have to fight the devil alone. 

In Christ, the victory is already ours! 

(1 Corinthians 15:57)

Read on for tips to keep the devil at bay!

Remember:

  • Compassion – God is a compassionate God, and He loves you 

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness

The Heart of Jesus is love and compassion

  • Courage – God gives us courage through His continual encouragement 

Joshua 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go

He gives us the courage to stay in the fight

  • Content – We are content and at peace when we remain in God’s will 

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We will have Joy

We will find Happiness in Jesus

  • Certainty – God gives us the certainty that we are never defeated. The Bible clearly states that the victory is ours, and He is on your side.

Romans 8:30 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 

God has a good plan for your life

  • Confidence – God gives us complete confidence in His timing

Philippians 4:13 I CAN do all things through Christ who gives me strength

Christ has already won the victory

Remember John 10:10(a) – the devil prowling around, seeking to do all those mean things? Well, that’s not the end of the story. 

John 10:10(b – emphasis mine) finishes by saying, ‘ I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.’ 

I don’t know about you, but I like that ending! That is a beautiful promise to hold fast to when the devil attacks.

So, always remember that C comes before D, just as Christ comes before the devil!

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I Still Believe

I Still Believe…

While walking one day, God spoke to me about believing. Walking through an event like a pandemic can leave us with many doubts about the future.  Yet, as I walked that day, I heard Him say: “Still believe”.  

My mind turned to the many times I had doubted: the premature birth of our fourth baby, the mountain of debt that we could not move. I looked around and things seemed hopeless; but the biggest time I doubted was my husband’s affair.

I can so clearly see the hand of God as each event turned into a miracle.  Our premature son beat all the odds, and today he is a successful businessman, a loving husband, and father. The mountain of debt? It was taken down piece by piece. Against all odds, my husband and I not only survived his infidelity. We have also soared to new heights in our marriage. Now we are blessed by helping other couples to heal from betrayal or take their own marriages to new heights.  

Beating The Odds

Contemplating on my walk that day, it occurred to me that we really had beat the odds. My husband once told me that his counselor shared with Tim that the odds were against his affair relationship lasting. Tim told his counselor that he liked it when the odds were against him. I never realized until today how much the deck was stacked against us as a couple. As much as I don’t like to admit it or even think about it, he was entrenched in his affair partner. She was determined to win the man she thought would rescue her. Yes, the odds were definitely against our marriage.

That was not God’s plan for us! The day He showed up everything changed. I can say today – I still believe!  

God is in control during this time of uncertainty: coronavirus, financial strain, jobs, education, marital struggles – all of it. And that when all is done, life will again resemble our normal lives. We will have changed because of what we have gone through while we were staying in place. Our new lives will be different – but there will be blessings! I still believe that He will do it again!

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